Fit Camp Poetry and Testimonials from the first camp of 2010

A huge thank you to Lizzie for coming up with these, so witty and lyrical I just had to share them!
Below the poems are a selection of testimonials from the first camp of 2010 with several ladies already booked up for March!

Ode to Fit2DropFitCamp

2010 was the year I decided enough was enough
Going up another dress size gave me the huff.
When to my surprise what's this that's landed in my inbox
An email that's bound to cure my ever growing frocks.
'Want to lose a dress size' The email said to me,
'Join Fit2Drop Fit Camp and I will guarantee'
"Not Arf," I thought, there's got to be a catch,
Lots of money they'll be wanting me to dispatch.
But as I read on, it didn't seem half bad.
"OH NO" my husband said, "not another fad".
"If you want me slim like Cheryl Cole" I said
"Put up the money , I'll no longer be widespread"
"Lots of exercise is what my body needs,
I want my waistline and thighs to recede."

Not knowing on the first day what to expect
I soon realised what muscles I've neglect
The next day I thought I nearly died
"I can't move, my legs wont work" I cried
Cori is our instructor so fair and kind
had us 'Arse to grass' Gosh she's so refined!
First weeks fit camp was in my nightmares
especially as I couldn't climb the bleeding stairs.

Second week was getting a bit better,
though I believe for the AM-ers quite a bit wetter.
Just when you thought the exercise was fine
Cori adds on another 'The Swine'

Third week, oh what bliss. We're nearly there.
It's lovely to be in the fresh air.
Squats and lunges are OK. Cori's off on one of her rants.
You can keep the Screamers, they're just pants.

Fourth week, we though we'd never make it
I'm one dress size down and extremely fit.
Exercise now is quite a doddle
Fifth week OH NO! We've got sod all.

Lizzie Mayne 09.02.10

Ode to THE CLEANSE

No wheat, no pasta, no rice,
Was Cori's solemn advice.
No bread, no sugar, no cheese
No more of this in our bodies.
No chocolate we heard her say,
Keep those foods well away.
No coffee, no sugar in our teas
You might get type 2 diabetes.
No fizzies, no beer, no wine
Will only add to your hip line
No marg, no sugar, no dairy
Or you'll break out in acne.
In order to cleanse us from fat,
Processed foods we must combat
Against the excesses in our life
Or nasty diseases will be rife.
One month of healthy living
Will make our poo less minging.
One fruit and veg must pass
For our figures to be hourglass.
Organic yogurts, eggs and meat
If we want bodies of an athlete.
Stick with wholesome natural foods
And watch the calories exudes.
For a figure neat and trim,
I know this diet does sound grim.
But in the end you will agree
You will feel great and not crappy.

Lizzie Mayne 09.02.10

Ode to the Supportive Husband!!!

My husband scoffed "I can do that, it's easy peasy".
It was over in a flash, his head now queasy.
"What's that about?" I hear you all cry,
The laws of gravity he's trying to defy.
One legged dead lift, you see he tried
Left me laughing and holding my side.
"It's no joke, the kitchen's too small
Let's go and try them in the hall."
To my twenty squats he did ten,
"Come on" I said, "Let's do it again."
Now come the lunges fast and furious
The dog is looking a little curious.
While I'm pumping full of beans,
My husband gone and split his jeans.
Body weight up and downs are mean
He squeals now he's ruptured his spleen.
Cross body mountain climbers really kills
He's gone all hot and cold with chills
Now it's time to do the plank
"One whole minute" and I saw him sank
On to the floor and then away did crawl
"Easy peasy, hey!" he heard me bawl
I sniggered and smirked with smugness
As he fancied he was god's gift to fitness
"WE CAN DO IT" my health fit buddies
we have the power to beat those hubbies.

Lizzie Mayne 10.02.10

Ode to the Penultimate Session

"Today's session is going to be fun" Cori announced
With bar and bands on to the tarmac she bounced
A fear of dread when you see her smile shining
"Come on you lot I don't want any whining"
When she says its fun you can be sure and bet
This session is bound to make us moan and fret.
"Oh goody we can use the swings
Now the workmen have taken their things."
The bars were first, blimey they're heavy
With arms above "Come on I want more levy"
Cori shouted, while we moaned and groaned
"These bars will make your upper parts toned".
For you AW-ers these are a joy to behold,
you've got these tomorrow so we're told.
"Swings are next" Cori evilly smirked
"Those forgotten abs will be properly worked."
Cori under the swing the exercise she displayed
So under we got all dutifully laid.
The moans and groans were heard all around
Trying to get our arses off the ground.
Cori taking photos and chortling with glee
Elfy shouts out she'd rather have a baby!
"For fantastic abs, this workout is Pukka"
You can stick the six pack, this exercise 's a F**kka
When all is said and done I'm glad I've subscribed
To Cori's fit camp, I'll come back only if bribed.

Lizzie Mayne 11.02.10

Ode to a Fantastic First Fit Camp

My world is over it's come to an end
How will I adjust, as I've come to depend
On 3 times a week, I've huffed and I've puffed
In a month a brand new me, quite buffed.
Gritted determination made way for a winner
Look at me now much fitter and thinner.
I've moaned and groaned my way through,
With bobble hats messing up my hair do.
Elf, Catherine, Lizzie, Jo and Marlize
Without skin left on elbows and knees.
Some highs and lows, we've had a good laugh
Weight and measurements now on a graph.
Why would anyone be mad to embark on this
I shall miss you all. Mwah mwah a big kiss.
Would I do it again, you betcha, too right
I've gone and signed up on Cori's website

Lizzie Mayne 12.02.10

Thank you, Cori, so much. The whole experience of Fitcamp has been brilliant. Good fun, entertaining, a wonderful eye opener on diet and overall positively life changing. I feel energised, fitter, more flexible, much better skin and overall more confident about life! And with more time on the exercises, CLEAN diet and another Fitcamp, I'll achieve the body shape I want to have again....
Catherine Pollitt - Durley

Well what can I say about Fit Camp............................... IT'S FANTASTIC!!Signing up I felt a bit apprehensive, not quite knowing what to expect. I knew I needed to focus on losing fat, excess weight and generally improve my fitness and I knew Cori was the one to help me achieve my goal.Yes it was hard work, yes we were on a playing field at the crack of dawn in the cold, dark and often in the rain - but it made me feel fab for the rest of the day!! Plus it made us all bond together really well. The support network that you get from Cori and your fellow campers is tremendous and really does make a difference. There is always someone there to give you a boost and help you through the tough times.The CLEANSE diet was not as difficult as I had feared it might be, all the fresh fruit and vegetables, lean meat and lots of water etc really does wonders to how you feel.Now that Camp has ended, I have to say I feel a bit deflated. I have met some amazing women, who I hope will be friends in the future. Cori, as always was wonderful. The workouts she created were killers, but they were strangely enjoyable. She knows how to get the best out of you and make working out fun!!As a woman with many stones to lose (at the beginning) I would thoroughly recommend Fit 2 Drop Fit Camp to anyone who wants to make that change and kick start their new body!! Don't think that you can't do it because you are not fit enough or you are too fat - That is the whole point! You have absolutely nothing to lose, except FAT. I lost 19lbs and 17.5ins in total and I feel great. I wish I could take part in the March Fit Camp, but I am planning to do at least one more fit camp in the Spring. Can't wait!!As always Cori Thank you so much for your continuing Support and for not making me feel uncomfortable about my size. You are worth your weight (and my weight) in Gold!!
Cathie Hodson - Wickham

I joined Cori’s fitcamp after the birth of my second baby in an attempt to regain my pre-baby figure and fitness and unsure how to get started! It was absolutely the start I needed. One month on and I am over halfway to my target inches-wise and back to pre-baby fitness. I have, without doubt, dropped a dress size!
Yes, it was hard work. The CLEANSE diet is strict and to begin with I couldn’t imagine living with it long term. However, within a month my thinking has changed and I’m going live as clean as possible from now on. That’s a big step for a carb-oholic!
The exercise regime is challenging but invigorating! I never thought I would be able to get out of bed at 5.45am to go exercise on a cold, muddy recreation ground but the laughter and camaraderie kept me going and I have to say that it really does set you up for the day. The exercises are simple and don’t need lots of room, so it’s very easy to do them at home in the days between Cori’s sessions (and possibly after fitcamp has finished!). And now that my legs don’t feel permanently tired, I have to admit I am missing it.
Cori is extremely motivating (although there may be times when you feel distinctly hostile towards her! It’s not personal Cori!) and the entire set-up, including the forum, is just what is needed to keep you going when your resolve is waning.
All in all, definitely worth it and I will be signing up again if I find the last few inches don’t want to shift! Thanks Cori!
Sarah Cleary - Waltham Chase

have known for a long time that my diet was too much sugar (Chocoholic) and carb based, but would rarely do anything about it, even though I didn't buy - well, what I thought was processed food. But since enrolling on fitcamp my eyes have been opened and it's the kick start I needed to get my health back on track. Plus I now pay more attention to nutrition (I wish I could have attended the nutrition workshop, hope you are having more).Since starting the cleanse diet (which I started a week or so before fitcamp). I have noticed that I'm not so lethargic, which I feel is a different feeling from being tired after exercise which does wane. I mean the lethargy that hits me all day. My Psoriasis is not so angry and best of all I suffer from a condition called Lichen Sclerosis, this has also reduced. This disease attacks your immune system and invades the Psoriasis, which gives me the most horrendous sore and itching ulcerated skin and in the most delicate of places, LS could potentially turn cancerous, it is 'incurable' and is only treated by steroid cream. I have to go to hospital for 6 monthly check ups to make sure that LS doesn't become any worse. But for the last 3 weeks and especially the last week I've only used my steroid cream once a week as oppose to daily. I call it a small miracle.Also as I'm going through my menopause I have noticed that my hot flushes have reduced considerably. My obsession over chocolate has gone away. I can get petrol without sneaking a bar of something on the bill and I can quite happily go down the confectionary aisle of a supermarket and the sweeties dont even get a sideways glance. My energy levels have increased and I now have a positive mental attitude. (My daughter just thinks Im mental as I have become quite animated about the whole Fitcamp and CLEANSE program). One thing the Fitcampers have noticed is that my creativity has gone ballistic in the way of poetry and poor Cori has been bombarded with Ode after Ode. She may be kind enough to put them up on her website. I have enjoyed it so much. I have come from a complete exercise phobic to someone who looks forward to the torture - I mean a convivial, pleasant and sometimes entertaining battle that I have been committed to through three times a week.There is is no escaping that Fitcamp is hard work, but it is worth it, as my husband Mic says, there's no gain without pain (sorry were not allowed to say the word Pain) a slight discomfort. I have lost 1 stone and loads of centimetres in one month, and I am cock-a-hoop about it.I even been mad enough to sign up for another Fitcamp in March. Thanks Cori for all your patience with my wisecracks, tomfoolery and the stick I have given you over the past month.
Lizzie Mayne - Stockbridge (otherwise known as Poet Laureate to the fitness industry!)

I found the food side more difficult this time, as the motivation and curiosity to discover what , if any , side effects I had to different foods and the how to manage them was missing. strange though as I mainly stayed on track. I have had some good comments from friends and colleagues, so although my results are not as huge as some I have succeeded and am pleased with myself. I think that next time please get the whip out and get me to work harder at the exercises as I am sure I can. (do not believe I am saying that! )
Kathy Brown - Eastleigh (November and January camp and back in March!)